Thursday, June 07, 2012
When you step out on the beach this early, there's nothing but the sound of water. It spills, reaches, pulls as it clings to the shore. "Show me how to help my boy!!" I was reaching that morning. I just hadn't found anything from which to pull answers. One year ago today, I sat on this beach and asked God for one thing. It's all I wanted; all I could think about. "Show me how to understand my son and how to help him. Please." Why God waited for that week to shine a tiny ray of light on a path of learning, is becoming clear. Had someone had just given me the answer up front, I wouldn't have believed it. Maybe not even followed through. It seems too simple. No medications. No therapy. Simple. This return to the beach marks a year of learning, of answers, of peace that comes from digging deeper and not giving up. For two years, Jett had been complaining of discomforts we could not figure out. They were allusive, but their effects on him were quite direct. He would wake up happy one morning, but angry the next. He couldn't calm himself at night, lying awake long after our older kids were fast asleep. He was uncomfortable all the time. When a big event like a birthday approached, he would cry and ask, "Mom am I going to feel bad today? Everyone else will be having fun." I would cry with him because I just couldn't help him. Looking back I can see when this started. He stopped taking naps at two. That's when the restlessness started. Little by little, the irritations set in and he became increasingly uncomfortable. I thought it was all in his head because if he were busy or having fun, he wouldn't complain. I'm ashamed to say I would get mad at him somethings because I thought he had rotten behavior. I would say to my husband, "He is so difficult." But he was a 6 year old boy who couldn't explain or fix his discomfort and it was affecting his mood, his interaction with others, his ability to focus on our homeschool lessons. That is the reason I am sharing this personal journey. It breaks my heart to recall my frustration with him. And I know there are other families right now wrestling with this very same thing. So I will type a little more throughout the week and share with you some insights that have helped me. Maybe they will help someone you know.