Monday, May 24, 2010
I have never smelled anything so vile. I didn't know all this had built up in my lovely barn! It was stall mucking day and I was happily scraping the surface, even smiling. This isn't so hard. But the more I scraped, the deeper the yuk seemed to go. Seeing that my own abilities weren't cutting it, I called for back-up. Danny stepped into the moon boots and got in with me. I told him I just needed a little help. There was just one area in the middle of the stall that was the nastiest.
No, he said as he began to shovel. The junk went alot deeper than I thought. The whole stall needed to be cleaned out and it was going to take more strength than I had. As Danny shoveled, it seemed that each layer had a smell of its own. For the past six months I had been skimming the surface, never going deep enough to really clean the filth out of this stall. It was easier just to take off the top layer and throw in some new shavings. But it never took long for what was underneath to show up again.
Why in the world do I do the same thing in my life? Always after the fast fix, I scrap away that first layer thinking, "Surely my heart is cleaner now." Sometimes we have to call someone else in and allow them to dig deeper, to show us what is really under the surface causing us to stink. As I ponder this farm lesson, I have to sit very still and listen. I can hear God scraping. Will I sit here as another layer of my muck is brought to the surface? And what will I do with it? There are big bags of cover-up within my reach. I can grab a good deed and throw it on top. Or I can sit here and allow my heart to be cleaned. One layer at a time.