Saturday, October 24, 2009
Rumaging Through Memories
This smell makes me wish I was 10 years younger. Then I would start all over and have more babies....It's 1am and I am cleaning out the basement. I have come across some treasures that I forgot I had. Here is the welcome sign my mom had made for the day we brought PJ home from China. It reads, "Welcome Home China's Fairest Treasure-Promise Joy." Wow, that takes me back. Next I found a tiny pink sleeper that belonged to Dove. When I put it to my face, I could smell that sweet baby smell. I know I am tired, but that smell brought tears to my eyes. Wasn't it just yesterday we were laying Dovie under the bililamp. She was the yellow baby. Next there are pictures I had made holding Jett when he was 6 weeks old. How I wish I had done that with all the kids. At the bottom of the box was something broken that I thought I had thrown away. Underneath newborn socks and ugly outfits I used to dress Noah in, was a bunny that played Brahms Lullaby. The week I found out I was pregnant, I bought that bunny and played it throughout my first pregnancy. I really cried when I held on to that! How can that baby be almost 13 years old?
I sit on the basement floor with these treasures in my lap and think through the stages of my life. How blessed I am. Events and memories flood my thoughts so quickly I try to stop and rewind. I want to remember certain things forever. I capture each one to decorate the ethereal walls in these rooms of memory. Quickly my mind flashes back past one, two, three, four children to the beginning of family. And there before it all is what is still here 18 years later...Danny. Ah, none of this would be what it is had I joined forces with anyone else. Now thoughts turn to prayers, petitions. "OH GOD! Please please please. Guide the path of each of my children. Light the way that leads them to a relationship like the one I have." None of the memories I am playing over in my head would exist had I not married a man who cherishes his family. I get to stay home because he values the role of motherhood. I get to homeschool because he supports me. I am free to make home a full time job because he does what he can to enable me to be here.
Yes, I am blessed! And I will cherish what I have today.